The English debate: Still not impressed.

The word "debate" can be simply defined as engaging in argument by discussing opposing points. I think the braintrust at the CBC should consider that definition when preparing for the next federal election.

There was no discussion undertaken during the English debate, much like la version française. Instead, viewers were treated to the anglo remix of the yawn-inducing stump speeches and cheesy one-liners ("This is MY country!", à la Paul Martin) that we heard in French. Here's my take on the performances:

Paul Martin did marginally (and I use that word very, very generously) better in English than he did in French. He landed a couple of semi-solid punches on the same sex marriage and unity issues, the topics to which he brings the most credibility (again, my generosity shines through) these days. He missed the boat completely on the all-important immigration issue, a huge, traditionally Liberal slice of the Canadian electorate that may very well be looking elsewhere come Election Day. All other candidates scored points there, leaving Junior dithering in their collective dust. Ever a student of the "float like a butterfly" school of public speaking, his constant arm flapping and Dubya-esque gesticulations were hugely distracting and detracted considerably from whatever pitiful point he was desperately trying to communicate. Stop your flailing and stammering, Mr. Prime Minister. It makes you look and sound like you don't know what you're talking about.

Stephen Harper did well - a much stronger/more believable performance than the "it's-horrifying-but-I-can't-seem-to-look-away" train wreck that was his French offering. He comported himself well, with much more of a Prime Ministerial air than Paulie. He needs to shake off that greasy little smirk of his, though. It's shady. Policy-wise, he's flogging fiscal responsibility like a rented mule on the 4th of July long weekend. This has to be resonating well with Canadians when weighed against Team Martin's drunken orgy of Liberal spending. The cuts to the GST thing is also working well for him, particularly in concert with Layton's "big corporate tax grab" schtick. Still, I'd like to see a more substantive fleshing out of his policies so that Joe Canada (i.e. me) understands them. Generally speaking, Mr. Harper was on message. He tore Martin apart in terms of presence at the podium.

Jack Layton. Again, he did very well. Still a bit "Have I got a deal for you!!", but his message is consistant. Lines like "Liberal failure" and "Liberal scandal" are what's going to keep the NDP warm and comfy over Christmas while voters take a break from politics. The Dippers are locked and loaded, my friends. Jack is a Kingmaker - he won't be sleeping at 24 Sussex, but the NDP will continue to be a major player in the next government.

What can I say about Gilles Duceppe that I haven't already said? I like him. I won't be voting Bloc, but I like him. He did very well in English - a few minor linguistic slip-ups, but nothing Lost in Translation. Certainly much more impressive than the English candidates' performances in French. Duceppe was bang-on message all night - scandal, scandal, scandal. He and Layton play well off each other and it's fun to watch. The Bloc is going to do scarily well, thanks to Monsieur Duceppe's continually solid performance.

To borrow a line from Cher, it was a night of gypsies, tramps and theives. I stubbornly look forward to the next round of "debates", although if this round was any indication of things to come, I may be left with an even worse taste in my mouth. Wait a second...maybe it was the greasy mound of McFood I inhaled in .03 seconds before the curtains went up...